Happy Birthday, Jesus

Watching Rent, gettin' down with my inside homosexual, it's all good, apparently all females are homosexual, thank goodness I'm no homophobe =)

Taye Diggs is preeetty fine, by the way.

So had a momentary break up with my Babe. Luckily we both realized our faults and stitched the situation up.

Speaking of Babe, I was speakin' with Snikkers, his younger sis, and we figured the best and quickest thing I can do right now is learning to drive. So, I can find out if my brother and I can really focus on that or if I need driving lessons, though even then, I'd be having to find someone to depend on for a ride still. Regardless, I shall be speaking to Tj(oldest brother) about this tomorrow.

Also wanting/needing to find out what kind of chords and monitor I need for my awesome mini desktop tower.

"GLOOOOOORYYYYYYYY!!!" Sorry, but Rent is super intense.

So newho, after the quick break up Babe and I have become much more closer. Tis endearing and lovely.

Well, I really need to focus on this Rent bidnezz, love ya'll!!

Valley Cakes <3

Medicine

Plies ft. Keri Hilson ~ Medicine

So I am on the edge and barely fastened by tired fingertips. I am barely grasping, I am tired of trying to stay up there, it seems every moment of the day I am slowly being pushed closer, nudged, little whispers in my ear forcing me closer. And I am tired of holding on. I've let go, and now I bleed.

My legs bare new cuts, I will not be wearing the above dress till they've healed.

I feel like the Obsolete Man on The Twilight Zone. I have no purpose, therefore I am obsolete. I cannot learn, I cannot give myself confidence, I can merely stare and make stupid decisions and worsen things for others.

I've fucked a lot of stuff up.

Blue Valentines

It takes a whole of whiskey to make these nightmares go away, and I cut my bleeding heart out every night....and I'm gonna die jus' a little more each Saint Valetine's Day, don't you remember I promised I would write you....these blue valentines....blue valentines.....blue vaaaalentiiiines.....~Uncle Tom Waits~


Not sure what to even write about. Brother is depressed, mine and my mothers fault.

Have to stop asking him for help.

Got to get this shit together.

love
val

ps
wish me luck

The Help...

A cool screen shot from Interview with the Vampire, me and my niece Kaylie Bear. I love that girl :)

So I am currently listening to Lil by Usher feat. Nicki Minaj, read The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I like that way of spelling Kathryn, pretty...anyway....

It's a book from multiple characters P.O.V(Point of View). It's 1960 and there are still black maids, rearing white womens children and having to go outside to use a different restroom for absurd reasons. It's a seemingly realistic book, touching, and made me tense in anticipation of what happens next. An instant page turner, though I didn't think it would be when I started.

I still need to finish The Killing Club. I'm in the last few chapters of that book, and half way through The Help.

So much craziness in my life.

Well I have come upon some discoveries....my Mother is soon to be getting money from my Father, since the divorce and all.

I plan on taking the large majority of this and putting it away, and probably just buy a carton of smokes and a bag of pot so I won't have to worry about that for a while. I will want to put the rest away for a car.

Today I'm going to borrow the drivers handbook from my younger sister, ride my nieces bike for at least ten minutes(so out of shape, and so hot outside :/ ) and figure out how to take up time till my brother gets home. Sighness...

well off for now

love

valley cake

Uprising

Uprising by Muse

Decided to start taking driver license lessons starting the twentieth. 11:30am-5:30pm, Monday through Thursday. Kind of nervous, I don't know ANYTHING about driving and it's only a eight days away when I'll be starting. Ugh!!!

I am very excited to finally be learning, this is certain, I just...I CANNOT get into negative thinking right now! Have to know this is the best thing and I need to continue going, keep going, cannot allow myself a day to miss. If I can't handle going to driving school for six hours, for three weeks, how the HELL can I attend school or keep a job?

I wish I hadn't been such a bad kid. Wish I had taken to school, stayed in it. I did so well when I continued going and learned the material with ease, though things like Math and Science troubled me, I know Math was my teachers fault(she let us openly cheat and just do whatever), when Science got too hard I would go and say I was doing my work elsewhere and just listen to Metallica and draw and whatnot.

Talking to my bestie Shawna, she just moved to another big city in the Big T with her man. She will be visiting this Thursday, excited! I just hope my Love is down to chill, oi! I pothole in my plot! The kids are leaving in two weeks, he won't want to! Crappola!

Listening to Insomniatic Meat by Finch; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlOOn8kHN54

Well I am so bored on the daily, Ben hates hearing about it. So I vent here! New Post!

love

Valley Cakes

It'd be on Motherfucker

Cuz all this bullshits made me stronger motherfucker

Drop the World by Lil Wayne ft. Eminem

Well Baby Ben is at the water park with his parents and his kids. He is super pissed. His father tells him, quite serious, "I'm going to lend you some money, but you HAVE to pay me back on Friday." No problem for Baby, now this day comes, they're at the park and his dad gives him twenty lousy fuckin dollars. He wouldn't accept it, told him to keep that and when he gets paid it's his money, and etc., More to this story that makes it fucked up but I've already said too much!

Sooo today I go to take a nap, my pipe and light are in one of my pockets of my capris, slide them off right next to my bed and take a nap. I awake to find that they are gone, cannot find them anywhere, but for some reason my niece's clothes, that are drying, are making a lot of noise, I tell my niece to go find what it is before our new dryer is broken. She says "Yeah, there was a lighter in there." OH SHIT! Is my first thought and I believe my first words. I go and look in the dryer, there are my capris, and there's the pipe. The mouth piece is cracked horrible. Abnormally angry, me and my baby are not having the best day.

They lured him out there, he didn't ask them to take his kids, or to go, and then they won't let me go and give him the shit money. We both cannot wait to just get our own place, be together and have the kids with US next summer.

Last night we discussed marriage and such over the phone. We have decided on a random elope! I told him I needed the whole down on one knee will you marry me business though.

So we say Las Vegas! Probably when I turn 21 next year, if possible, it would be about a month after the kids leave if we can swing it. I want to so badly, to be his girl and for him to be officially my man in every meaning of the words.

I've never loved anyone like this, and felt that same endearing and desirous love back. I cannot picture him not being in my future. I think of how he stares at me and holds me and tells me how much he loves me and holds me. Drives me crazy, knowing we have to wait untill we can even move in together.

Anyway, I need a fag, going to finish watching Indescent Proposal for the first time.

Love!

Valley Cakes

Love Machine

Reading The Love Machine by Jaqueline Susann again, well actually finishing it for once.

Waiting on Baby Love to call me so we can decide what to do. So bored, I am dying for a cigarette! I had 3/4 of one around 12 pm and am now fiendin', though it isn't that bad :) this is good 'cause I've been smoking like a chimney on crack!

Picking at some Honey BBQ chicken strips, my tummy has shrunk so that I can only nibble, unless I am starving then I scarf everything down, it's weird extremes with my appetite, I wonder if it relates to being bi polar....ooooh weeeeell!

Feeling a bit better about things now. Baby Love is going to discuss me going with him, his parents, and his kids to the water park. That is if his Mom ever gets in a good mod -_-'....ugh. I cannot wait till we live together, the thought is daunting but sooooo seductive. To be just him and me for ten months out of the year. Then hopefully less as in we would get the kids for longer.

I'm not sure why it matters who sees what on shit like Facebook.

Well my besteh just moved about four hours away today with her b/f! Cannot believe it, I hope this helps her mature and grow up a bit more. I am certainly worried about her. Cannot wait to visit though!

Last night we smoked soooo much! Sean(besteh) finally started smoking after years of jus drinking, I was so happy! We smoked a billion blunts it seemed.

Bitch Imma pick the world up and imma drop it on your fuckin' head! ~ Lil Wayne ft. Eminem

Why is it whenever Eminem is in someone elses' song he fuckin' wrecks them? It's great. Ugh I really want a cigarette..shit


Anyway, love you guys, gonna read some more of this book and wish I had some smoke.


Valley C