Emotions are for pussies :)

I really miss how things once were. I wish I could stop thoughts from forming and freaking. I regret things I've done, some almost recent. Destroyed a lot of things in my life, something I've cherished most. I seem to be a bit of a mess.


me

A Sudden Decision

It really isn't all that sudden. I am trying to stop my obsession over one by transferring it to another. This is sick. Cut off any sick ties, such as these. Grow the fuck up.

I want to work on myself and not be dependent on others and me needing them so I can be happy. Work on myself, earn money, become something of some sort. Stop rotting away.

I want to go home tomorrow. I want to clean. I want to study my ass off. I want to write my Adventure story.

There are few people I know whom I truly, truly treasure. And there are pains that go with these feelings. So many I won't go into details. I shan't re account the obsessions.

I am enjoying this story I'm writing. I take it slow and constantly revise and, I hope, slowly make it better.

I miss how things used to be. Before certain things took place. I could talk easier to certain people. Now there is never anything of worthy to discuss. I am constantly naive to abusers, it's ridiculous.

I feel a bit lost.

Boohoo pity the dumb white whore

imp c

ANGST

Whatever that means, right? :)

Went to the art museum. So many cool paintings. I'll list my faves, I wish I could have gotten post cards of the ones I actually WANTED :/

I am getting blinder every day :/

Listening to Heels over Head by Puddle of Mud.

The text is from Beauty and the Beast by Marie Leprince De Beaumont. The book is wonderfully illustrated, and I will post some of those as well. Arts name is Hilary Knight.

Listening to new Marilyn Manson, cannot believe motherfucking Twiggy Ramirez is back. Marilyn Manson almost doesn't suck :).

Linda Ridgway ~ The Dance
Dan Havel and Dean Ruck - Give and Take
Torstun Slama
Damien Hurst - End Game
Alejandro Quintanilla - Objecion observacion
Chiho Aoshima - City Glow
Salvator Rosa - Witche's Sabbath
Jaques-Raymond Brascassat - A Bull Fight
Mary Cassat - Susan Comforting the Baby
Paul Signac - The Bonaventure Pine
Albert Andre - Interior
Frantisek Kupka - The Yellow Scale
Mary Chagall - The Woman and the roses
*Claudio Coello - Saint Michael the Archangel
Henry Ruseli - The Dismission of Adam and Eve from Paradise
Anton Raphael Mengs - Saint John the Baptist Preaching in the wilderness
Thomas Lawrence - Portrait of John Joseph Henry
Joshua Reynolds - Portrait of Mrs. Jelf Powis and her daughter
*Adolph Alexander Weinman - Descending Night, Rising Day

Love
annoying ass

It's Right Beneath Your Skin

Listening to Linkin Park :)

Anywho, workin' on me maff here.

Found out I'm losing my health insurance when I turn 19 :(. I am gonna use the shit outta my insurance before then. At least it's in August and I should definitely have a job by then.

Downloading some Guns N Roses, God Smack, Puddle of Mud, and such. Also Dane Cook stuff, dude is ridiculously funny.

I got a new prescription for something called Klonopaun(Spl?). Like my Xanax but lasts longer and such. So YAY

I will be getting that tomorrow.

Now listening to Carpe Diem Baby by Metallica.

Anyways, Imma go back to studying and attempt to learn something new ^____^

Love love love
Imp C

A New Story

Listening to Runaway ~ Linkin Park

I have been inspired via webcam to clean my room major like today. It would be so much easier if I had painkillers to help the process :)

Anywho, I am going to Dr McM tomorrow to get see if I can get on Ativan(AGAIN) and get back on the pill, and if I can get an STD test, I am positive I do not have anything, have not slept with anyone new in six years lol, had been Rick all that time....

ANYWAY! A flight from Texas to Australia is about 20 hours. Good God, great balls of fire!

I have to apply at PetCo, Gamestop, EB Games, and probably HEB or something along those lines. If all else fails I'll "join Mum" and work at motherfucking Cinnabon, though I would despise that so. But of course we work for money and not for fun ^_^

I'm getting some Dro in a few days :D Yay yeah, which means I need to do all the applying before I get it, otherwise it'll be even longer till I get a fuckin job.

I am positive I am going to continue studying for my GED and once I get that become a certified nursing assistant, which means I can get $10-$14 an hour for bathing an old person =O. Whatever gets you paid, as I said....

I am waiting to finish my second cup of coffee and chicken noodle soup before I go and start cleaning. I have three huge trash bags that are soo heavy I am not sure how my weak ass can lift them. I AM THE PALE NIGHT!

I got my Batman animated series D.V.D's back :D Gotta love Mark Hamil as the Joker :)

Oh to Ye God Fearing Men!

There is going to be a live action version of Cowboy Bebop, and by God, Keanu Reeves is going to play Spike Spiegle. This gives me mixed feelings of that of an unsure homosexual.

I love CB with all my black little heart, but KEANU? THOUGH....THOUGH! Spike hardly does anything but slightly smile...maybe it'll work, but I swear to Bobbers if they get some whore like Megan Fox to play Faye Valentine I shall be pissed. I wonder who will play Ed though, too....

Now that I've thought about it I am gonna watch my CB series today while cleaning, that and The Prestige. My goodness how I love Christian Bale :)

Anyway, listening to 30 Seconds to Mars, gonna get on MSN and AIM and chat up before I clean.

Love Love Love
Always E.