Hmmmm

Well I am still alive. Somehow.

A Knife Called Lust

I have a knife
She has the gun
Our eyes are shimmering mirrors of ourselves
There's already puddles straying across the floor
And we're shaking
Yet gripping our pain
Tighter than the crashing drunk at the wheel.

Just fucking push it in
Just help yourself heal
Just wait for the flesh to tear
And see those little red rubies
And you smile that of an inmate
And maybe cry
Because you're finally relieved
You finally got what you deserved
Physical pain
But it should be drawn out more
So you keep dropping rubies

How did you end up with a cathatar in you?
Why do you shake when you see your brothers face?
Why can't we help you?
Why can't I help you?


Things have been broken in this shell for so long
It's hard to remember a time before I was messed.
Left for dead in a broken shell no one there knew how to care
They knew how to care
I didn't know how to allow myself to be cared for
I never deserved love nor care
I wanted the worst for myself
Save the disgusting bile for me
At the end of the day I wanted it all
To just burn away


Sleep is wasteful
What's happening on the other side of the globe
As your lids flutter and you feel the oddities of dreamland coming upon you?
Wakened by something frightening that you'll never remember, or remember to late.
My eyes will gently drift to my arms and legs
And I trace with my fingertips
The maps of my life, of all I've experienced or known
I know each tale and I know each ending.
I know where it begins though I wonder where it will end.
There are still so many scars no one can see
We'll see where this takes me

Imp C

Another Day to Die

I am such a mess.

Life is fucked in the end. :)

Anywho...gonna go outside and smoke this joint

This love, this hate

A Knife Called Lust by Hollywood Undead

Love this song.

Haven't written anything in quite a while.

Feels strange, keys anew under my fingertips as I ache painfully for nicotine.

It's pushed through my veins.

It's hard to face the world on this day.

I need to float freely in the ocean. I need the ocean again. Need it.

Imp C

Excitation

So I have met a boy. >=)

And I have been using magical thinking.

These combined.

With all that I desire, work, education, living life.

I shall let myself receive them.

Machine Gun Fellatio
Voices in my Head

Love you all,
Impy C.

Frustration Celebration

Over here watching out for my girl and she goes and fucks with my messenger, talkin' shit. What the fuck?!

Anyway....

Listening to Department of Corruptionz by Sloe, my bro, RIP love :) LYLAB!

Ugh, this fuckin dog jus took a shit or farted or something, eeeegh!!!

Hes harmless
as he drags her remains through the halls
hes completely sane
as he removes the human suit and makes her what she was meant to be
hes so religious
as he douses her in fuel and makes the prayers right
And when he goes trolling
hes harmless as he picks out the one with least morale
Hes touching
as he slides the needle into the main vein
Its almost intimate
as he slides her into the back of his van.
And its a lovely site
When she watches her intestines slowly being removed.

Love ya homes =)

Imp C

Jogging

Contemplating jogging right now. At three o'clock in the morning.

Listening to Deftones. If I go I'll take Shawna's IPod and just go. I need to work off this fat. I also need to do some reps with the ten lb weights.

Going to call PetCo today and tell them I am more than willing to be trained for any open position. Or to just think of me when they are hiring.

Got a date for the test. July 10th is the Orientation, and when I pay. Then I test on either the 14th or 15 or July, from 7:30AM - 4:00PM. They better let me have a fuckin' book or I am going to go insane sitting there.

I really hope I get lucky and pass the first time.

Got yelled at earlier for having Smirnoff around Shawna and Modelo. Bfd. What the fuck ever.

Better here with me, than somewhere else with others.

I want my man.

I miss sex :(

Fuckin' Hell am I a mess...

Imp C